Dating the Alphabet
By Samantha Napier
Publisher: AUS Impulse (HarperCollins)
Release Date: March 1, 2015
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Length: 100 Pages (805KB)
About the book:
Ramona Rawlings is going to make dating fun again. Armed with an alphabet poster, post-it notes and her best friend Emma, Ramona is going to date the alphabet - from A to Z, Archie to Zolon and everything in between.
Throw in the chaos of managing a theatre restaurant with a roster full of strong personalities, unfulfilled dreams and lustful hook ups and Ramona's world is turned upside-down.
In between Evan the arrogant, Ivan the emotionally stunted and Glen the racist, Ramona discovers what she really wants: to be a good friend, to emotionally connect with a man and to replace her vodka-tonics with kale smoothies. But how many frogs will she have to kiss before she finds her fairytale?
EXCERPTI scooted to my office for a quick lip-gloss renewal and headed back. Stopping at the area where all the drinks were made, and with my nerves getting the better of me, I snuck behind the bar and poured myself a drink.Just as the glass hit my lips Cinderella came into the bar area.‘I thought you said—’‘Did I just hear someone come through the front door?’ I said, trying to distract her.‘Ooh, it might be him! Drink up and I’ll seat him down.’‘Alright, no more mentioning drinking, please. Just go and see who it is.’As soon as I came over to the booth she had sat Dylan at, Cinderella disappeared. I tried to do my most stylish entrance into the booth, but as I was doing so Dylan greeted me with a smile and a wave with his hand — his left — and my eyes were drawn to it, as gleaming in the light was … a wedding ring.‘You’re married!’‘Hi, Ramona.’‘Are you married?’‘Yes.’ He didn’t hesitate; he didn’t even try to hide it,‘What! Why are you here?’‘I thought we could have coffee.’‘And then what?’‘I don’t know.’‘Well obviously it wouldn’t be marriage, commitment.’‘You invited me here.’‘I didn’t know you were married.’‘Does it matter?’‘It does to me, and it definitely should to you.’Dylan just sat there.‘Get out.’Little Red Riding Hood came up with a tray, two lattes sitting perfectly in the middle. She did a one-eighty as soon as she heard me.Fat Elvis came out of nowhere, gestured to Dylan to get out of the booth, and escorted him out the door. Cinderella silently put a drink in front of me and sat in the booth.‘You always wonder if the wife knows,’ she said.‘This has happened to you?’ I was stunned.‘I think most of the guys on those online dating sites are married.’‘You’re doing online dating?’‘Not anymore. I hooked up with Fat Elvis last week.’My stunned expression morphed into a more repulsed and confused one.ANALYSIS OF DRamona: Complete waste of time.Emma: Douchebag is his real name.
AUTHOR Bio and Links:
Samantha started her career in entertainment dressed as Snow White in a theatre restaurant. There she met her husband, Gordon, also a writer and together they started their own production which resulted in three lovely, loud boys. She has had short plays produced and is looking forward to the debut of her full length play 'Signing Off' and comedy web series 'Kings of the Kitchen'. Samantha and Gordon also hold their workshop 'Book, Screen or Stage' to help writers see the potential their project could have. Her time in the theatre restaurant and the stories her fellow flight attendants have shared with her have inspired DATING THE ALPHABET.