How Cats are Like Teenagers - What I've Learned the Hard Way by T. C LotempioI’ve been a proud human to many cats since I adopted my first one, Zee, in 1996. Cats as any cat-human will tell you, are a force unto themselves. I have noticed over the years, though, that owning a cat is similar in many ways to raising a teenager (even though I do not have children, I was once a teenager myself, LOL).Here are the top ten similarities between cats and teens I’ve noticed over the years:
- They both like to hide - conveniently: ever notice when you want a teen to do something, like daily chores, they make themselves conspicuously absent? The same can be said of cats. I know that when the maintenance man comes into my apartment to do work, the only evidence that I even have a pet are the catnip mice scattered all over. A cat can hide just about anywhere. Sometimes it amazes me the places they can get into
- Computer love: Teenagers today spend most of their time on the computer, and trust me, that’s where my cats spend most of their day too. If I had a nickle for every piece of cat hair I’ve plucked out of my keyboard I could retire tomorrow.
- “I vant to be alone” – Teens require a great deal of “alone” time – as do cats. Don’t’ think that a cat will want to play a game of fetch with you like a dog, because you’re barking (or rather, meowing) up the wrong tree. A cat will pay attention to you when he or she is darn good and ready to. And unlike dogs, who thrive on attention, cats seem to shun it. The longer you leave them by themselves, the better they like you.
- Immovable objects – ask a teen to do something and they take their sweet time getting off the couch. Same with a cat. Cats plop themselves in a spot and it usually takes nothing short of a bomb (or refilling the food bowl) to get them to move.
- Rip Van Winkle Syndrome – Teens like to sleep…a lot. Some till one in the afternoon if you’ll let them. Cats like to sleep…a lot. Usually all day if you let them. And who argues with a cat?
- Evil Eye reflex – When you say something – doesn’t matter what it is – you usually get a blank stare from a teen. Same with a cat, only it’s a slitted stare that makes you feel like you’re on the witness stand and the cat is Perry Mason (or should I say PURRY Mason??????).
- Make me laugh – Do teens ever laugh at your jokes? The ones that I have contact with usually give me indulgent smiles. My cats are also super unamused by my humor as well.
- Lovin the John – I know when I was a teen I spent an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom, and I imagine it’s no different today. My cats also love the bathroom. They especially like to lay in the tub and lounge there until I turn the shower on, and then it’s like I lit a fire under their tail. They get hair in the sink like a teen and make no move to help unclog the drain, and just like a teen they also make no move to help clean it!!!!!!
- Needful Things: For the most part a teen will ignore you UNLESS they need something from you: a permission slip signed, borrow the car, new sneakers, prom dress, etc. THEN all of a sudden they’re your best friend and can’t wait to do all the chores in the world to assure they get what they want. Cats also only care about your presence if they need something from you as well – mainly food. My cats sound the food alarm early, and I never receive so many head butts as when I’m opening a can of Fancy Feast. I’m fairly certain, though, that if they had opposable thumbs and knew how to operate a can opener I would find the door locked and they’d get on very well without me. True story: I came home from work one afternoon to find the can of catfood in the middle of the kitchen floor with the can opener propped up next to it. I rest my case.
- Grudge Match: OH, yes. Cats and teens both ABSOLUTELY hold grudges. Put a teen on curfew and they don’t talk to you for weeks. Go away on vacation and see how much love your cats give you when you return home. The best is when you take them to the vet. I’m lucky if I get as much as a headbutt or a casual meow for weeks afterward.
Okay, those are my top ten! What other similarities between cats and teens do YOU notice?
Crime and Catnip
By T.C. LoTempio
Nick and Nora Mysteries, #3
Publisher: Berkley Prime Crime (Penguin USA)
Release Date: December 6,
2016
Genre: Cozy Mystery
Length: 304 Pages
ISBN: 978-0425270226
ASIN: B01CZCW4ZY
About the book:
While catering a gala for the
Cruz Museum, Nora Charles agrees to look into the disappearance of director
Violet Crenshaw’s niece, a case previously undertaken by her frisky feline
friend Nick’s former owner, a private eye whose whereabouts are also currently
unknown.
As Nora and her curious cat Nick pull at the string of clues, they begin to unravel a twisted tale of coded messages, theft, false identities, murder, and international espionage. Nora dares to hope that the labyrinth of leads will not only help them locate the missing young woman, but also solve the disappearance of the detective. That’s if Nora can stay alive long enough to find him...
As Nora and her curious cat Nick pull at the string of clues, they begin to unravel a twisted tale of coded messages, theft, false identities, murder, and international espionage. Nora dares to hope that the labyrinth of leads will not only help them locate the missing young woman, but also solve the disappearance of the detective. That’s if Nora can stay alive long enough to find him...
EXCERPTI twisted the knob and the door swung inward, almost hitting another furry shape crouched behind it. The cat that charged at me out of the darkness had a white body and an orange and white face. It’s fluffy white tail waved like a flag signaling surrender. It landed on all four paws and stood, back arched, bright blue eyes glittering.“Yowl!”I looked at Nick who’d sat back on his haunches and was calmly regarding the newcomer. “Is this what you wanted me to find, Nick? You wanted me to let this cat out of here?” I made an impatient gesture. “I told you I had things to do.”I could swear that Nick shook his head. “Meeoow,” he yowled.The other cat turned around twice, echoed Nick’s cry, and then shot like a guided missile back through the door. I peered cautiously inside. The room beyond was black as midnight, and I had no flashlight – nor did I have the cat’s extraordinary range of night vision. I felt along the wall and found a switch, which I flipped. Illumination revealed a flight of steps leading downward into what was most likely a basement or a storage area. Nick and the other cat were halfway down the stairs. Both paused, turned and looked at me and meowed plaintively.“I do not have a good feeling about this,” I muttered. I cautiously crept down the stairway, emerging into what appeared to be the museum storeroom, filled to overflowing capacity with boxes, cabinets and trunks of varying sizes. I walked over to one and read the white and red printed label:PROPERTY OF MEECHAM EXHIBIT“Oh great,” I muttered. This was obviously the place where the packing was stored for the exhibit articles. The cats were dashing madly around the room – off to a large trunk on the left side, then back to me, around in a circle, and then back to the trunk. The orange and white cat began to mew pitifully as Nick chased a few red threads on the floor. Fighting the tingling feeling inching up my spine, I moved forward and saw a black Mary Jane dangling over the side, partially obscured by a swath of red satin.With a sinking feeling, I walked all the way around, stopped and bit back a scream.Daisy Martinelli sat sprawled in the trunk’s center, her neck cocked at a rakish angle, the red scarf tied around it pooled like a puddle of blood in her lap. One finger was caught in the scarf’s frayed edge, almost as if she were pointing. Her sightless eyes stared straight ahead, and a little bit of drool trickled out of the side of her mouth. Her arms were tangled in the folds of a scarlet cape looped carelessly around her shoulders.I didn’t need to feel her pulse to see that she was quite, quite, dead.
AUTHOR Bio and Links:
While Toni Lotempio does not commit – or solve – murders in real
life, she has no trouble doing it on paper. Her lifelong love of mysteries
began early on when she was introduced to her first Nancy Drew mystery at age
10 – The Secret in the Old Attic. She
(and ROCCO, albeit he’s uncredited) pen the Nick and Nora mystery series from
Berkley Prime Crime – the first volume, MEOW IF ITS MURDER, debuted Dec. 2,
2014. Followed by #2, CLAWS FOR ALARM.
#3, CRIME AND CATNIP, is out this December. She, Rocco and Maxx make
their home in Clifton, New Jersey, just twenty minutes from the Big Apple – New
York. Catch up with them at www.tclotempio.com
and www.catsbooksmorecats.blogspot.com
Where
to find them:
ROCCO’s blog: www.catsbooksmorecats.blogspot.com
Website: WWW.tclotempio.com
Amazon Author Page:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/roccoblogger
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